What is a health care proxy
A health care proxy is a legal form naming the person who can make medical decisions for you if you cannot speak for yourself. It is often paired with a living will, which records your wishes about treatment. Choose someone who will follow your wishes under pressure, talk them through, complete your state's form, and give copies to them and your clinician.
Why it matters: It decides who speaks for you if you cannot, instead of leaving it to chance.
Steps
- Think about who you trust to follow your wishes under pressure, even if they disagree.
- Ask them, and a backup, whether they are willing.
- Talk through what matters to you: comfort, treatments you would or would not want, and your values.
- Get your state's advance directive or health care proxy form from your clinician, a hospital or the state health department.
- Complete and sign it as the form instructs, often with witnesses or a notary.
- Give copies to your proxy, your backup and your clinician, and keep one in your document vault.
- Review it after major life or health changes.
Stop and call a professional if
- your situation is complex, such as a chronic illness or family disagreement: ask your clinician and an elder law or estate lawyer
Questions to ask the professional
- Does this form meet my state's requirements?
- How will the hospital know I have one?
Common mistakes
- Assuming a partner automatically has this role.
- Choosing someone without ever discussing your wishes.
- Filing the only copy where nobody can find it in an emergency.
Outside the US or in another state: Rules for wills, proxies, beneficiaries, name changes and divorce are set by each US state; outside the US they differ again, so check with a local lawyer or official service.
Teach this to someone
A one page sheet for showing a friend, a teenager or a parent: what to say, what to show, and one question to check it landed.
Teach: What is a health care proxy
What to say
A health care proxy is a legal form naming the person who can make medical decisions for you if you cannot speak for yourself. It is often paired with a living will, which records your wishes about treatment. Choose someone who will follow your wishes under pressure, talk them through, complete your state's form, and give copies to them and your clinician.
What to show
- Think about who you trust to follow your wishes under pressure, even if they disagree.
- Ask them, and a backup, whether they are willing.
- Talk through what matters to you: comfort, treatments you would or would not want, and your values.
- Get your state's advance directive or health care proxy form from your clinician, a hospital or the state health department.
- Complete and sign it as the form instructs, often with witnesses or a notary.
- Give copies to your proxy, your backup and your clinician, and keep one in your document vault.
- Review it after major life or health changes.
Where it stops
Stop and call a professional if your situation is complex, such as a chronic illness or family disagreement: ask your clinician and an elder law or estate lawyer.
Check question
What does a health care proxy do?
Answer: Names who decides for you if you cannot. It appoints a decision maker.
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Related skills
Sources
- US state bar association consumer guides on wills and estate planning, 2026. Reviewed September 28, 2026.
- US national aging guidance on advance care planning, 2026. Reviewed September 28, 2026.
Written in our own words from the sources above. It is general information, not advice for your situation; where a professional, your doctor or your lease says something different, follow them.
Last reviewed . First published .